my body [01100010 01101111 01100100 01111001] is only 2 states of being
a 1 or 0
follow my line of symmetry & it becomes [01100010 01100101 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01110011] something i find paralyzing
a [01100001] simple erasure of my identity; false [01100110 01100001 01101100 01110011 01100101] god in nitrile gloves
well-meaning and devastating
a positive [01110000 01101111 01110011 01101001 01110100 01101001 01110110 01100101] for something i can’t control
as [01100001 01110011] if i [01101001] could wake up and be right. bite instead of bark, square jaw and heavy shoulders
as if i open my eyes and anything but shadows grow [01100111 01110010 01101111 01110111] on my face. trying to hunch straight lines into my silhouette again
staring at the mirror, not [01101110 01101111 01110100] seeing myself, like a vampire can’t see their own reflection
the image there doesn’t belong to me. the body isn’t mine [01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101]
i think about the frog, boiled alive, dis[01100100 01101001 01110011]interested in the slowly warming water. the way at some point, pain becomes a regular sensation
i admit to forgetting my own desperation at times, wounds never tended [01110100 01100101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01100100] to, forgotten in the monotony of discomfort
i admit to sometimes looking down at myself and feeling nothing, twisting and turning to agree that yes, this form is beautiful. but only when viewed from a distance. to inhabit it is never anything but wrong [01110111 01110010 01101111 01101110 01100111].
//
[body] [becomes]
[a] [false] [positive]
[as] [i] [grow]
[not] [mine]
[dis][tended]
[wrong]
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